[Vol. 68] Growing
Welcome back to That’s Gay 🌈 A biweekly newsletter for all the folks outgrowing "the way things are" – written by a queer kid who knows the feeling.
Candid, current, chaotic, and always tongue-in-cheek.
Live from New York, it’s Monday and Thursday mornings @ 11 A.M. 🌟 Subscribe and don’t miss a beat 💌
Happy Tuesday, everyone :)
^ That originally ready “Happy Friday” because I did indeed mean to post this last Friday … after not writing anything on Tuesday. My bad (because who else’s would it be?) I got caught up in some work and time got away from me but ✨ c’est la vie ✨
I miss using that phrase. Think I’m gonna start seasoning my sentences with that bad boy a little more often. Anyways, let’s get into it.
I feel like we’ve been tackling some pretty heavy stuff on That’s Gay recently.
From gay men being compared to pedophiles to the attack on abortion rights in Texas to the constant erasure of bisexual visibility, the tone has been … serious.
And while I fully intend to never stray away from the belly of the beast, I think we all need a little R&R and breathing room between the battles we choose.
So, in the interest of keeping things light, let’s focus on the positive today – more specifically, let’s talk about growth.
I had an appointment last week with the folks over at Identity House – an NYC-based all-volunteer community that focuses on supporting LGBTQ+ adults. Sitting cross-legged in bed and only slightly anxious (understatement of the century), I met with two of their volunteers over an hour-long Zoom call to introduce myself and talk about their support groups and referrals to LGBTQ-specific therapists.
I’d been dodging the appointment for three weeks (give or take).
Rude, I know, but quite honestly I just couldn’t get myself to prioritize it. If any plans came up that seemed like more fun than making myself vulnerable to two complete strangers over video chat – quite possibly my worst nightmare – I would choose the former.
But I got around to it. And no, I’m not telling y'all this for a clap on the back or a gold star for effort, but because I want to acknowledge the growth happening here.
If you’re anything like me, you might resonate with the thought, “I feel stuck.” If you’re anything like me, you might spend just a little more of your time than you’d like to admit worrying about if you’re “getting anywhere.”
“Am I doing what I should be doing? Am I going where I need to go?”
A little over a year ago, I could never have even conceived making an appointment with an organization like Identity House.
Now I’m waiting on referrals from them – possibly even to go to group meetings (again, another one of my worst fears).
I was home in Connecticut this weekend, and as I ran the usual route around my small town, I noticed how much lighter I felt than the last time I passed that one house; that one street; that “Hillary Clinton For Prison” sticker I once tried to scratch off the back of a stop sign mid-run.
If you’re anything like me, you can fall into a habit of minimizing these moments – this growth - because you know you’re not done yet. But honestly, what does the to-do list ahead of you have to do with what you’ve already checked off? Why let what’s ahead overshadow what’s behind you?
Growth is a tricky thing. It’s subtle, sometimes painful, and it’s almost never A to B
– nothing like the easy-to-follow character arcs Disney lead us all to believe were possible.
It’s hard to follow, and so we don’t often follow it. And that’s fine – live in the moment – but just don’t forget to orient yourself every now and then.
Yes it’s true, we’re growing.
Find me on Instagram: @till_kaeslin
Check out the newsletter’s home on Instagram to see this post there, and more like it: @thatsgaynewsletter
See you in Volume 69, folks! ;) Hehe
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