[Vol. 61] The Most Exclusive Gay Club
First you have to become a professional athlete. Then you have to come out.
Happy Tuesday, everyone :)
In 2021, I’d say most people know this to be true: The gays are everywhere.
We’re in your offices, on your zoom calls, in your schools, and yes, even in your homes. EVERYWHERE.
There are still a few locations, however, where people just can’t seem to wrap their heads around queer people taking up space. And honestly, it’s not entirely their fault for thinking that way.
One of those still-taboo, seemingly gay-proof locations is the field – or the court, or the pool – basically anywhere where sports happen.
Now I know we all know that *statistically speaking* gay/queer folk must exist in sport … but what about in practice?
We know this because you all read my newsletter on the golden 10% rule, right (Volume 4, vintage 😉 )
Well, when the NFL’s Carl Nassib came out as gay just over a month ago, the news was all over the internet. Why might you ask? Because, as I was genuinely bamboozled to discover, Nassib is the first active NFL player to publicly come out.
‘How is that even possible?’ I thought to myself, ‘It’s 2021 and this is the first openly gay man to play in the NFL?’
Obviously seeing the progress in the athletic world is encouraging, but how have we made so little up till now??
Then I thought, maybe this was just a flook – maybe this speaks more to NFL culture than it does to sports culture in general. And while that certainly may have some truth to it, the underground “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that likely kept dozens of queer NFL players before Nassib closeted doesn’t begin and end on the football field.
Just a few weeks after Nassib became the first active NFL player to come out as gay, NHL prospect Luke Prokop became the first on the ice to do so. Just as in Nassib’s case, before Prokop no active NHL player has ever come out publicly.
Here’s a sobering fact for you: Prokop’s coming out doubled the number of out gay men in the country’s four major men’s sports – football, basketball, baseball and hockey.
Yup, you read that right. According to NPR, Prokop and Nassib are currently the only two publicly out and active *male* professional athletes in these four major sports in America.
On the other hand, many female professional athletes in the U.S. have come out while actively competing before, including soccer star Megan Rapinoe, tennis legend Billie Jean King and professional hockey player (not to mention Olympic gold medalist) Meghan Duggan.
Most male professional athletes, however, choose not to come out until they retire, which explains how Prokop and Nassib can be considered trailblazers in 2021.
So what does all this say about men’s sports in the U.S. (and, likely, the world over)? Not a lot of good, honestly.
U.S. men’s professional sports have apparently been popularly dubbed “the last closet”, but I wonder if it’s more than just professional sport.
Think about it: The hyper-masculine culture that thrives in our male sports world in the U.S. doesn’t just *poof* magically appear when a player goes pro. The barrier to entry for gay and queer folk in sports, I think, comes into play a lot earlier in the game (pun fully intended).
We grow up with that culture, and a queer kid who doesn’t feel like they “fit in” on the field, or in the locker room, or at the parties after practice 9 times out of 10 isn’t going to stick around when they feel uncomfortable, even if they’re actually naturally athletically gifted.
The pressure we feel to conform, especially at that awkward, pre-pubescent age where sports start to become real involved in the U.S., was, in my experience, enough to deter me from doing things I would’ve otherwise loved to do – if only they didn’t feel so off limits.
For example (just to embarrass myself publicly here) as a kid I always thought it’d be so cool to do gymnastics, but I held myself back because I had somehow become convinced that it was a “girlie” sport. The joke was always on me because I definitely would’ve made a terrible gymnast, but that’s beside the point.
The point is then, it’s only when you realize you’re different and that that difference can be picked apart that you start to hold yourself back.
I can wager to bet that I’m not the only queer kid to have felt that way, and I can bet just the same that Prokop and Nassib had to dig deep to find the courage to stay on course and get to the professional level they’re at today.
For that, and for coming out publicly in “the last closet”, they should be applauded.
Here’s to many more out and proud gay/queer athletes to come.
Find me on Instagram: @till_kaeslin
Check out the newsletter’s home on Instagram to see this post there, and more like it: @thatsgaynewsletter
See you in Volume 62, folks!
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I can't believe they're the first, it blows my mind. And the part that's contradicting these negative preconcived notions people have about gay men is that, we're talking about men that have been all this time around insanely hot guys, half-naked or naked in the locker room even, who obviously knew fairly well all along that Nassib and Prokop were gay yet it never impacted them negatively in anyway whatsoever.
So no, sane-minded gay men will not jump on heterosexual men. Period. I would actually argue heterosexual males should be a lot more worried about other "heterosexual" males who would rather take a bullet than be described as "gay" despite nefarious actions ranging from harassing you in the street to raping you in prison. It needs to specified however, that the aforementioned freaks should never be considered part of the gay community at all.