I relate to this a lot. Definitely a thing with other trans people too. I left Boston to move to Missouri and if I see another trans person, especially a young person, it feels like my responsibility to give them "the nod" to let them know that I see them and will have their back if anyone tries something.
I love that – thanks for the insight. It can feel at times that there isn't so much "community" to the LGBTQ+ community, so when we do have each others' backs it really speaks volumes. It's funny how even something as simple as a nod of recognition can make you feel so seen.
Maybe it's so powerful because it's so different than what we usually equate being seen to feel like. In many situations, you might feel like you don't want to be seen as a queer person; that you don't want your gayness, or transness, or any other variance from the straight/cis norm to be "clocked" – at least, I can definitely feel that way at times (esp when closeted, of course). So when you are seen and it's met with warmth and mutual respect, especially in a place like Missouri where the representation may not be as bumping as a place like Manhattan, I can imagine it's a game-changer.
Thanks for the comment! Another frustrating reality of queerness – "passing" for straight and/or cisgender and having your identity fly under the radar. A topic for a whole 'nother volume. If you're in a relationship and/or married to a man, I imagine that adds a whole different layer of complexity as well.
I recently watched (*binged) "We Are Who We Are" on HBO, directed by Luca Guadagnino (who also directed "Call Me By Your Name"). I loveeed the show (it's super queer) and I found this video of Guadagnino talking about the inner-workings of the final episode of season 1 (Check it out here *but know that there are spoilers*: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueBFhN4UmQk&ab_channel=HBO). Anyway, in the video, Guadagnino comments on one of the main characters, who is actively grappling with her gender identity, "In practice, she's understanding the real need of utopia for the self: to be recognized in the gaze of the other."
I thought that was a really beautiful quote that speaks volumes about what many queer people (and people in general) are really searching for – to know themselves and, in turn, be seen for who they know themselves to be, regardless of whether that falls under a specific label or not.
I relate to this a lot. Definitely a thing with other trans people too. I left Boston to move to Missouri and if I see another trans person, especially a young person, it feels like my responsibility to give them "the nod" to let them know that I see them and will have their back if anyone tries something.
I love that – thanks for the insight. It can feel at times that there isn't so much "community" to the LGBTQ+ community, so when we do have each others' backs it really speaks volumes. It's funny how even something as simple as a nod of recognition can make you feel so seen.
Maybe it's so powerful because it's so different than what we usually equate being seen to feel like. In many situations, you might feel like you don't want to be seen as a queer person; that you don't want your gayness, or transness, or any other variance from the straight/cis norm to be "clocked" – at least, I can definitely feel that way at times (esp when closeted, of course). So when you are seen and it's met with warmth and mutual respect, especially in a place like Missouri where the representation may not be as bumping as a place like Manhattan, I can imagine it's a game-changer.
Thanks for the comment! Another frustrating reality of queerness – "passing" for straight and/or cisgender and having your identity fly under the radar. A topic for a whole 'nother volume. If you're in a relationship and/or married to a man, I imagine that adds a whole different layer of complexity as well.
I recently watched (*binged) "We Are Who We Are" on HBO, directed by Luca Guadagnino (who also directed "Call Me By Your Name"). I loveeed the show (it's super queer) and I found this video of Guadagnino talking about the inner-workings of the final episode of season 1 (Check it out here *but know that there are spoilers*: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueBFhN4UmQk&ab_channel=HBO). Anyway, in the video, Guadagnino comments on one of the main characters, who is actively grappling with her gender identity, "In practice, she's understanding the real need of utopia for the self: to be recognized in the gaze of the other."
I thought that was a really beautiful quote that speaks volumes about what many queer people (and people in general) are really searching for – to know themselves and, in turn, be seen for who they know themselves to be, regardless of whether that falls under a specific label or not.