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I'll just comment on my own question here, because why not.

I'm not alone in questioning why people get so passionate and heated about another person's gender or sexuality (or identity in general). There's a whole Reddit thread (and probably countless more like it) fueled by this very question – find it here: https://bit.ly/2MgabCC

Taking a scroll through that thread (which I highly recommend) is to see just how many different reasons people can come up with for why we're so pressed about each others' identities (esp. LGBTQ+ identities). From colonialism, to religion, to more secular tradition, to status quo, to what's considered "natural" and what isn't, the path to just accepting and loving someone for who they proclaim themselves to be is littered with ideological landmines.

Personally, I'm of the school of thought that human beings just don't like change. Whenever there's a new idea flung our way, we push back against it because we're uncomfortable with "the way things are" becoming "the way things aren't". What's so ironic about this thinking though is that, when it comes to LGBTQ+ identities, these are not new ideas – diverse identities that don't adhere to binaries have existed for as long as human beings have walked this Earth.

So maybe it isn't that we're uncomfortable with new things, maybe it's that we're just uncomfortable with what we don't know yet.

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Hey Till - great article. I think you bring up some good points and I support the idea you presented about humanity's hesitancy against change as a contributing factor to any issues with non-binary gender expressions/sexualities (although, as you pointed out, within the LGBTQ+ community, these identities are not 'new.').

I also want to propose that since humans have a psychological need for patterns to make sense of information and make decisions, I believe this is another reason for heated debates. Having only two options (man/woman, straight/gay) is simplistic and easier to follow. But if we expand this to include many other identities along a spectrum, suddenly the human mind gets intimidated; partly in having to understand more "categories," but also due to a fear of the unknown. Human beings (myself included) like to be "right," and when we accept that life doesn't operate in pre-established patterns, that indirectly means we were "wrong" before, and so we get defensive, even aggressive toward people who question the old ways of thinking. And then, we become fearful of change, as you stated.

Even though there's a long way to go with normalizing and accepting non-binary identities, it's nice to see that more conversations are being had on the topic.

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"...if we expand this to include many other identities along a spectrum, suddenly the human mind gets intimidated; partly in having to understand more "categories," but also due to a fear of the unknown."

Yes! Couldn't have put it better myself. It almost feels as if non-binary identities are a challenge to some sort of status quo that we've all been indoctrinated with.

Your comment also makes me think about how this all hinges on culture – like if the predominant culture accepted non-binary identities as the norm, then maybe we wouldn't have these issues (AKA we wouldn't feel threatened).

For a long time I pictured our collective culture as constantly evolving towards a more "liberal" mindset – not in the political sense, but in the sense of departing from traditional/conservative norms of identity. But as I've thought about it more/done some of my own reading & research, it looks as if there have already existed a great many cultures that accepted "alternative" identities that don't fit into the binary we covet so highly today. In some sense, we've actually regressed a great deal from those more accepting cultures.

Makes you wonder how much of this is just a product of colonization – more specifically, colonization from a heavily-religious and conservative-backed culture in which it definitely wasn't ok to break the binary, let alone be gay.

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Very interesting point about there being other cultures that have better accepted "alternative" identities, because there are and I think we tend to forget this. Great that you highlighted it.

A region's system of traditions and beliefs (culture) definitely has a huge impact in what we see as "normal," and "correct." As you mentioned, history is just as critical to examine, as it plays into the habits and language we now use every day, but don't often reflect on.

In general, I think part of the modern movement is to be better understanding that LIFE does not exist in some binary, no matter the subject, and to challenge previous formats and rules. There are never (well almost never) only two options. Life isn't black and white, especially with forms of identity.

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Love that thought – if you think about it, we already know that nothing in this life is black and white, so why should our sexuality/genders be?

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