[Vol. 64] Men in Femme (Met Gala 2021)

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Candid, current, chaotic, and always tongue-in-cheek.

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Image created via Canva Pro.

Happy Tuesday folks :)

Did you know that the Met Gala went down yesterday? I ask this non-sarcastically because I genuinely would have had no clue it ever happened if not for everyone reposting red carpet looks on their Instagram stories.

God bless the power of social media for reminding us whose birthday it is and when major events are happening.

*And yes, I very intentionally separated those into two different categories as, I’m sorry to inform you, your birthday is not a major event. Sorry, I haven’t eaten breakfast yet and am just a tad hangry.

So … there was a lot of queering of fashion going on at the Met.

Remember the days when all men showed up to the red carpet like they were assigned to their date’s security detail?

matt @mattxiv

straight men at the met gala, regardless of the theme:

^ One of my favorites, Matt Bernstein (@MattXIV on Instagram), sounded off on Twitter at some of these men this year.

But here’s the thing: The uniformed suits are coming off – albeit slowly – even for straight/cis men.

And no, I don’t mean they’re stepping out on the red carpet naked.*

*Although I will say I’m convinced we’ve reached a critical point of the “naked but not naked” or “not naked but kind of naked” fashion game at which one really cannot emerge above the rest without just showing up to the event fully nude (see my inspiration for this theory – Megan Fox’s “naked but not naked” look for the VMAs – here). Count on me to tell you “I told you so” when the theme of Met Gala 2030 is “Before Original Sin: The Birthday Suit.”

What I mean is, more and more men – gay, bi, or straight (because we have no time for the sexuality guessing game here) – are adopting femme fashion looks on the red carpet.

In search of samples for this statement, I took to Vogue’s exhaustive Met Gala fashion review and screenshotted aimlessly into the crow (watch out, you could be next!)

Let’s review, shall we? For your viewing pleasure, I’ve put together some (bad) collages of men’s fashion elements as presented via Vogue (all ownership creds to Getty Images)

Woweeee! And all this not to mention transgender/nonbinary stars Indya Moore, Hunter Schafer, Kim Petras, and MJ Rodriguez strutting down the red carpet in high fashion as well.

Now look – I’m not saying a male celeb wearing a traditionally femme piece/accessories makes him a game changer. It is by its very definition not “game changing” because queer men and women have been gender bending their fashion choices for decades.

So no, they’re not game changing. But (and it’s a big but) they’re a sign that things are changing for queer folks who choose not to abide to gendered style.*

*many of whom, by the way, are included in the screenshots above.

While men the world over undoubtedly benefit from tangible (and, might I add, entirely unearned) privilege, we do, I think, experience a unique brand of social pressure: The need to be “man enough.”

In a horribly ironic but satisfyingly karmic twist of fate, men have successfully barred themselves from healthy access to their femininity after years of belittling it to justify their proclaimed “superiority” over women. Without knowing it, we’ve built our own cages and fortified them for our sons – no crying, no dressing up, no admitting to your own femininity.

My point? A growing number of men “man enough” to adopt femme fashion (unironically) despite societal stigma is a clear push against those bars.

We don’t have to give these celebrities a clap on the back for doing what queer and trans-femme folks have been doing for years (and in the shadows of the public eye, might I add), but we do have to recognize this moment as a serious shift.

Men – queer, gay or straight – don’t show up to highly photographed events in a skirt, dress, or blouse for nothing. They’re doing so because they know and are being told by enough people that it looks good.

They’re feeling themselves in femme fashion, as they should. That’s the shift.

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Find me on Instagram: @till_kaeslin

Check out the newsletter’s home on Instagram to see this post there, and more like it: @thatsgaynewsletter

See you in Volume 65, folks! 

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