Key West Was Gay

My official out of office message to you all.

May 25, 2021

Hello!

Although I ~ officially ~ landed back in New York City yesterday, I decided to take today as my first (or one of my first) days off from the newsletter – ya know, to truly honor the vacation spirit.

I spent the makeshift long weekend in Key West, Florida with my roommate and her family.

It was the first time I got on a plane since January 2020, and it was also one of the first times I got to lay on the beach and do nothing for 3 days without having some crazy activity scheduled between me and my beauty rest (love my parents, but Jesus did they keep us on our toes on our vacations growing up).

Oh and this wouldn’t be That’s Gay if I didn’t inform ya’ll that yes, Key West was super gay.

There were rainbow flags absolutely everywhere. Like, to the point where a Super Straight (TM) might assume the rainbow flag was just Key West’s quirky thing.

Also … I opened up the apps on the vaca (just checking out the local wildlife, if you will) which had me seriously contemplating meeting up with this guy at a “clothing optional” gay bar on the island.

Apparently, according to my new Key West gay conducer, all of the big gay bars in town are “clothing optional”. And listen, before you try to tell me that the only place clothing was optional in this scenario was in this guy’s imagination, here’s a lil’ gem from the establishment’s website:

So ya, if you’re ever in Key West, check out Island House and let me know what’s what.

I didn’t end up going. The vacation was a wholesome family affair and I was there for the vibe. Besides, Key West may be gay, but it’s also very old. Do with that information what you will.

Until Friday :)

Love,

Yours truly,

And all the other probably-too-intimate-for-a-public-newsletter email sign offs,

That's Gay

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